Titties!!!
guest: i purchased a new undergarment. And as it turns out, it is EXTREME PUSH UP, and basically launches what little breasts I have through the roof. And I like it. But then I’m all OH SHUCKS this is all a lie, because I’m actually flat and this makes me look like I’m LOADED! So I might return it.
Also, I think I’ll start wrapping my chest super tight in cloth so I look like an 8 year old boy (or, more of one than I already do?). THEN, when the time comes that I (intoxicated, no doubt) present my breasts to a member of the opposite sex, they will be pleasantlyish surprised. They’ll be all HEY I THOUGHT YOU WAS FLAT. And you are! But not as much! Hooray!
Kind of like that one movie, She’s The Man (I hated it, seriously). Except she turned out to be really hott…
